Rating: 5 of 5 flying body parts
Comically over-the-top violence? Check. More one liners than you can shake a sword at? Check. Breaking the 4th wall at every opportunity? Check. Maybe the best flick of the franchise. Absolutely top shelf writing and delivery.

Rating: 3 of 5 homicidal parents
Something causes parents to want to violently kill their children. Hilarity ensues. That’s about it. Pretty good creepy flick staring the master of horror, Mr. Nicolas Cage. Have to take off a star because the alternating quiet then insanely loud music is unnecessary, and another for the hyperactive camera work.

Rating: 4 of 5 buddy flicks
The plot leaves a bit to be desired, and is intentionally pretty thin, since the movie is really just about the chemistry between Clooney and Pitt. But, that chemistry is quite good, and makes for a very fun buddy flick.

Rating: 4 of 5 headless bodies
Liam Neeson has a particular set of skills, even though he’s a simple snowplow operator in this action flick, you go with what you know. Not bad, as Yet Another Revenge action movie. Seems like these require their own category, there are so many of them. And nearly always close family member meets with untimely end, quiet/retired protagonist for some reason (cops don’t believe it was foul play, are in cahoots with bad folks, can’t be involved because spies) must kill everyone involved, because that’s how it works.

Rating: 4 of 5 root kits
A near future action/revenge story. Nothing particulary novel, bad things happen, main character eventually goes after the people who caused the bad things. Think Robocop. But, it’s fun. And violent, and dystopian. Not a ton of character development, just as well, these characters are sterotypes and don’t need it. But, all in all, a fun ride, if you don’t think about it too much.

Rating: 3 of 5 stars
Loosely based on actual events, it’s a wartime tale in the early part of WWII where a group of special agents sabotage a Nazi U-Boat supply ship. Lots of violence, in the actual mission, no one was killed. Team dynamics are good, and action is exciting, if manufactured. All in all an OK action film.

Rating: 4 of 5 Parkours
A lot of action, a little plot, just how we like it. During a chase scene a bit in, I realized there was some plot about information or a device, or whatever was in a briefcase being something a lot of heavily armed people with no interest in collateral damage want. But that’s just the substrate on which they put another film with a secret agent who pairs with a regular person who ends up having The Right Stuff to quickly become an action star.

Rating: 4 of 5 slimers
A fun and nostalgic story. Nothing particularly innovative though. Effects were fine, having most of the original cast back was fun. I particularly liked the addition of Kumail Nanjiani, his comic timing is so good. Hoping they put a ghost in this series though. None match the first for originality, humor, and scale.

Rating: 3 of 5 stars
A Hong Kong film about, yes, a future dystopia. Something about alien plants that are very nasty, and grow very, very large. Vehicle/robot/aliens are really well designed and crafted (or generated). Tons of action, even more than in a typical Mission Impossible, I’m betting. Only downside are annoying stereotypical characters and situations.

Rating: 2 of 5 stranger things
A very pretty film, but slow moving and very predictible. I expected better writing, given the cast. But, strong women characters are a refreshing take on the whole knights and dragons genre.

Rating: 4 of 5 stars
A very different film, totally unexpected. Amazing performances, which go so far as to change how you view the actors, given how fully they committed to their roles. Mostly a “coming of age” story, but from a interesting perspective.

Rating: 3 of 5 stars
Interesting take on a dystopian future. The population is basically drugged into a calm stupor, so there’s no conflict or war or feelings. One person is chosen as the holder of all past knowledge. We get to be there as the next Giver gets his training, and finds out what’s actually going on, and decides to shake it all up. I liked that it definitely had different ideas than a lot of other takes on the same overall premise.

Rating: 0 of 5 glowing seahorses
I’d read this reviews that this sucked, but we all like Mamoa, and watched the others, and gave it a go with very low expectations. Well… it sucked. It sucked with a suckiness that can only happen when a studio with deep pockets wants to spend zero on creative effort, tons on blue screen effects, and just make bank. Acting was atrocious by every single actor. The writing was worse than some LLM generated nonsense (maybe that was intentional?

Rating: 4 of 5 very large bugs
An action film, with a bit of humor tossed in, and a little bit of drama. Basically a post-apocalyptic tale where Earth’s non-mammal wildlife has mutated, and clans have formed to survive a very hostile environment. But one young man with a lack of skills decides to make a journey for love. Expected a throwaway time waster, but actually rather enjoyed it. The special effects were way better than expected, and the writing was OK.

Rating: 4 of 5 fake passports
A fun action spy thriller, in the vein of Mr and Mrs Smith. Although the basic plot has been done several times, both Kaley Cuoco and David Oyelowo give excellent believable performances. Slightly dramatic, slightly humorous, action isn’t relentless or over the top.

Rating: 5 of 5 degrees of Kevin Bacon
An intense flick where what’s going on is slowly revealed as things progress, so no plot hints. Basically a couple take their two kids for a vacation that is just outside NYC, but in the woods, so quiet and isolated. Stuff starts going wrong, and although the reveals aren’t a total surprise, the series of things happening continue to surprise, and keep you on the edge of your BarcaLounger. In a rare surprise, I really liked how they handled the end, as they reveal the last bits of the puzzle.

Rating: 5 of 5 undead
A train. Fast and furious undead. Superb practical special effects. Scary and intense and bloody. If you like zombie flicks, it’s a must watch.

Rating: 3 of 5 Sharknados
Good guys, bad guys, sharks and other scary creatures. That’s pretty much it. A much less violent and bloody sequel, with a lot more goofyness. Felt like a Sharknado movie with better production values at times. But, you get to follow Jason Statham actioning with all the action he can muster. Continuity errors everywhere, but it is a story about monster sharks, so I guess a tight plot isn’t high on the list.

Rating: 4 of 5 capers
A nearly perfect Jason Statham vehicle. Action, more action, a little acting, and more action. And for the acting we have Aubrey Plaza, being a snarky, caustic delight, dread pirate Wesley, and Hugh Grant, plus some other folks, but they didn’t capture my interest. A few twists and turns, but it’s an action flick, and it doesn’t disappoint.

Rating: 2 of 5 Batmans
First off, for a movie about the fastest super hero, this movie is hella slow. Seriously. Could have been half the length if they just cut the repetitive and useless scenes. Like maybe an hour? I didn’t really see this from any prior review, but this is DC’s remake of Marvel’s Dr. Strange and the Multiverse of Madness. Toss in a little “Yesterday” changing of the past, and viola, another bad DC movie.

Rating: 4 of 5 vinters
Watched on a whim when I couldn’t sleep, didn’t expect much, but I like Toni Collette, so gave it a shot. Enjoyed it a lot. It was fun, violent, and overall quite entertaining. Plot was unsurprising, but the writing and characters were all interesting. Worth a watch. Maybe only at 2am when you can’t sleep, but whatever works.

Rating: 4 of 5 severed limbs
I expected a ridiculous film. I wasn’t disappointed. It’s bloody, gory, funny, and slightly dramatic. If for no other reason, you should see it because it’s Ray Liotta’s last film. Plot is about as simple as you get. There’s cocaine, a bear finds it, the bear gets a little frisky. I laughed, I cringed, I felt empathy for the bear. I could get all judgy and complain about how if this is entertainment, our society has failed, but basically, this is just a spin on Cujo, which many people consider a classic.

Rating: 3 of 5 CGI dinos
Visually great, although wonderfully generated dinosaurs has been played out by now. Very superficial and common plot. Crash landed on a planet, protagonist struggles against impossible odds to figure out how to escape. That’s the big plot, so mostly, it’s dealing with dinos. But the endless Jurassic Park films already numbed us to that plot-line. So, it’s a chance to watch Adam Driver run around and try out new facial expressions.

Rating: 4.5 of 5 sledgehammers
This looked pretty cheesey when I first saw the poster, before the holidays. Finally showed up for free streaming, so we gave it a shot. It was hillarious. And violent. But, that’s in the title, so can’t really complain about the violence! Simple plot, Santa is visiting a house where the family is being held by armed and violent thieves. And, it has actors you’ll recognize: David Harbour, John Leguizamo, and Beverly D’Angelo lead the cast.

Rating: 2 of 5 puffers
Aliens take over earth, some people don’t like it, and I guess they fight back? Hard to tell, really. I found it confusing, with little to no character development, at it was unclear what was so different about alien rule, or just a global dictatorship. All in all, I’d pass on it, there are a lot of perfectly good aliens take over and are challenged by spunky human flicks out there.

Rating: 3 of 5 stars
Let’s start with the obvious. The big car chase is a 5 out of 5. For fans of classic 60’s cars, and nostalgic views of San Francisco, this movie has them in abundance. However, as a thriller, it’s not very thrilling. In fact, it’s very dark (were hospitals actually this badly lit after the invention of electric lighting?) and fairly slow and plodding about 75% of the time, with remarkably little dialog throughout.

Rating: 4 of 5 warriors
Well acted and beautifully filmed, including massive action sequences. with Viola Davis doing an incredible job as the primary protagonist. Very loosely based on historical events, it’s a facinating story of the woman army of an African King. And the dramatic license is used to explore interpersonal relationships, good vs evil, politics, slavery. All in all, a really well done film.

Rating: 4 of 5 Haunted Houses
As Stefan from SNL says “This movie has everything!”. It’s got a haunted house, a family working out family issues, drama, comedy, action. There are car chases, human chases, police, a secret government agency, a murder myster, Tig Notaro, and a ghost. All in all, an enjoyable flick good enough to overlook its flaws.