Rating: 0 of 5 dick jokes
We’ll keep it short. Absolutely terrible adolecent trash. 90 minutes of dick and sex jokes, using so much gratuitous profanity that anyone young enough to be entertained, shouldn’t see it.

Rating: 4 of 5 Earring Magic Kens
Overall, a really good movie. Socially relevant, yet funny and poignant. Lots of really good background detail, great dialog. Some scenes went on way too long (hello musical Ken number), some were out of place, but as a whole, it worked on several levels. Loved the Matrix references, which work whether or not you notice them. And some of the details, like having every Barbie doll represented, including all the discontinued versions, was fun, as was having the actual inventor of the character get a cameo with lines!

Rating: 3 of 5 science projects
The one word review, weird. Even for Wes Anderson. The overall film reminded me of Eraserhead, or other early David Lynch experimental films. There’s kindof a loose plot, which you are told is a play, and the film switches between the narrator/writer/“real” life in black and white, and the story/play in 50’s color. So the overall narrative won’t be for everyone, or even many. But, it has a laundry list of really good actors, most playing bit parts, and all performing well.

Rating: 4 of 5 talking animals
Well this was unexpected. Ryan Reynolds not playing Ryan Reynolds (mostly). Expected a comedy, given Anna Kendrick also starring in the film, but nope. At best, a black comedy, but deep into the black, light on the comedy. Not quite a horror film, but Jerry (Reynolds) has issues, hearing voices from his pets and others. It’s captivating, you want to see how it all plays out. The ending, pretty good, actually.

Rating: 5 of 5 Sea Shanty's
Mostly a true story, a group of fisherman and rescue workers who sang Sea Shanty’s for fun, then got a record deal. Filmed where it happened in a small village in Ireland, with music from the actors and band members, with cameos of all the group. Mostly happy, a bunch of funny, and tiny bit of drama/sad, but overall a feel-good film, made better because it’s mostly true! Absolutely loved it.

Rating: 5 of 5 stars
A funny 60’s ensemble comedy. Was shot in and around the town of Mendocino, CA.

Rating: 4 of 5 Smoke filled station wagons
Wasn’t expecting a lot, but this time travel horror/comedy has great writing, well acted, lots of 80’s memorabilia, and was also scary and bloody. It also gets a big shout out for the quick Monty Python and the Holy Grail visual gag.

Rating: 3 of 5 psycho killers
This’ll be quick. It’s a B movie about a sentient car tire that goes on a killing spree. That’s it. The entire plot. All in all, kinda fun.

Rating: 4 of 5 vinters
Watched on a whim when I couldn’t sleep, didn’t expect much, but I like Toni Collette, so gave it a shot. Enjoyed it a lot. It was fun, violent, and overall quite entertaining. Plot was unsurprising, but the writing and characters were all interesting. Worth a watch. Maybe only at 2am when you can’t sleep, but whatever works.

Rating: 4 of 5 severed limbs
I expected a ridiculous film. I wasn’t disappointed. It’s bloody, gory, funny, and slightly dramatic. If for no other reason, you should see it because it’s Ray Liotta’s last film. Plot is about as simple as you get. There’s cocaine, a bear finds it, the bear gets a little frisky. I laughed, I cringed, I felt empathy for the bear. I could get all judgy and complain about how if this is entertainment, our society has failed, but basically, this is just a spin on Cujo, which many people consider a classic.

Rating: 5 of 5 neighbors
Tom Hanks plays a grumpy man who was just forced into retirement, and had recently lost his wife. Not a very uplifting setup, but the movie is realistic, poignant, funny, sad, and heartwarming. Hanks is again perfect in his role, and the supporting cast are all excellent. Highly recommended.

Rating: 4.5 of 5 sledgehammers
This looked pretty cheesey when I first saw the poster, before the holidays. Finally showed up for free streaming, so we gave it a shot. It was hillarious. And violent. But, that’s in the title, so can’t really complain about the violence! Simple plot, Santa is visiting a house where the family is being held by armed and violent thieves. And, it has actors you’ll recognize: David Harbour, John Leguizamo, and Beverly D’Angelo lead the cast.

Rating: 3 of 5 zomcoms
A zombie rom com. A pretty average comedy, riding almost entirely on Aubry Plaza’s talent for playing manic characters. Some really funny moments early on, it gets a bit tragic in the third act.

Rating: 2 of 5 lead actors
Starring a bunch of actors I like, looked like a decent black comedy, but ensemble productions are such a crapshoot. More often than not, the script doesn’t do the actors justice. Unfortunately, this follows that pattern. I liked the overall plot, and some of the performances, but not enough to keep things interesting. The story didn’t have enough material and depth to fill the screen-time. All in all, it was OK, but I wouldn’t go out of your way to watch it.

Rating: 2 of 5 Tube men
Avoided any information about this, so I wouldn’t have any secrets spoiled. Won’t give away any here. Thought it was just OK. It had some striking visuals, but motivations, or any real character development, was iffy. Story is either increadibly simplistic, or incredibly confusing, and I’m still not sure which. It had an ending, but if I understood what was going on, it was almost a “oops, we’re out of time/money, gotta wrap it up.

Rating: 4 of 5 Haunted Houses
As Stefan from SNL says “This movie has everything!”. It’s got a haunted house, a family working out family issues, drama, comedy, action. There are car chases, human chases, police, a secret government agency, a murder myster, Tig Notaro, and a ghost. All in all, an enjoyable flick good enough to overlook its flaws.

Rating: 4 of 5 Quarks
A pretty fun post-apocalyptic romp with comedians. Fun cameos, it has Barry Bostwick, Armin Shimerman, plus the evil Mayor from Buffy the Vampire Slayer in it. A pretty well written and acted comedy, no real spoilers, a couple goes through an apocalypse of unknown origin. Hilarity ensues. Obviously a shoestring budget, you don’t expect to see actors you recognize in movies this low budget. Given the length of the “special thanks” list, they might have financed with individual donations.