October 28, 2020

The Skeleton Key (2005)

Rating: 3-1/2 out of 4 Sarsgaards Great atmospheric thriller/horror. Good acting from world-class actors (including John Hurt), great cinematography of Louisiana, never quite sure who to be watching out for. A couple lazy plot points, but pretty solid story.

October 28, 2020

Darkness Falls

Rating: Zero out of Four wisdom teeth
Ooo, is that Anya from Buffy? Why yes it is! The first 30 minutes were really good. Demon tooth fairy. This concept could work. But it soon lost all semblance of plot, actors came and went, logic was lost, flashlights were lost, hope was lost. And then it got silly. And then it just got totally stupid, and I was wondering when Nicholas Cage was going to show up.

October 25, 2020

Hush (2016)

Rating: 3/4 plunging knife wounds Found this on Netflix. I assumed a “terrorized alone in a house in the woods” flick could bring nothing new to the oversaturated genre. I was wrong. Well written and acted, very few “why are you hiding behind the wall of chainsaws?” moments. A lot of tension, a smart strong protagonist, a brilliant soundtrack (I realize now I’m very picky about soundtracks), some very scary bits, and one scene in particular that is extra special disturbing, plus a satisfying ending.

October 18, 2020

Call of the Wild

Rating: 2 of 5 computer generated canines
Slightly better than my very low expectations. Disney Mousewashes a brilliant Jack London story, but still kills a couple of people in the process. Jack London would have despised it.

October 15, 2020

The Night Eats The World

Rating: 3 / 4 George Romeros This did not suck at all. It’s a Zombie flick, and totally believable. Really good use of not ominous, but uncomfortable music. Also very good use of music in other forms. A smart main character (be still my heart!), fast and mute Zombies. Note to self: fast zombies are scary, fast silent zombies are really scary. Sly bits of humor, innovative takes on what to do if stuck in an apartment building with nothing to do (relevant for global pandemics as well).

October 15, 2020

The Invisible Man

Rating: 1/2 of 4 sad remakes
I wish this movie was invisible. What is it with these horrible soundtracks totally overreaching a mediocre and boring slog? If the music turns ominous or creepy, relax. When the music turns boring, and especially if it stops, something may happen!Let’s move on to visual mediocrity. Lots of blue filters, in lieu of actual acting. I’m really tired of blue filters. Unless your movie is set in Antarctica or Seattle, add some warm tones.

October 7, 2020

Fantasy Island

Rating: 0 Fantasies / who really cares? I knew this was panned by critics and civilians, and wasn’t expecting much. Wow, still wasn’t expecting this mess. So, the first acts… For the most part, 2nd rate actors from 3rd rate films. And Michael Pena. But, in Pena’s first couple scenes, I even said “if I didn’t know he was a good actor, I’d think he was a terrible actor!” The acting sucks pretty uniformly, so that’s something consistent 😂.

October 4, 2020

The Island

Rating: 3/5 Sean Beans A more-or-less by the book dystopian future, that borrows from a lot of better stories. A really great cast, pretty good acting, pretty flat writing. Lots and lots of action, mostly gratuitous, but still technically well executed. Ending isn’t going to surprise anyone. Still, didn’t feel like I’d wasted my time. One extra Bean, mostly because the flick has plenty of Scarlett Johansson.

October 4, 2020

Girl in the Spider's Web

Rating: 🐉🐉 / 🐉🐉🐉🐉 Looks like the second in the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo series. Haven’t watched the first yet. Decent action flick, nothing surprising, but not boring. Silly tech bits though.

October 2, 2020

It Comes at Night

This will be quick. “It Comes at Night?” No it doesn’t. Some confusing mess about a family, a scary virus, ominous music and scared people, none of whom you ever care about. Then a second family shows up, who you also don’t care about. 99% of it happens in a cabin in the woods. Stupid ending. They kill the dog.