Rating: 4 of 5 capers
A nearly perfect Jason Statham vehicle. Action, more action, a little acting, and more action. And for the acting we have Aubrey Plaza, being a snarky, caustic delight, dread pirate Wesley, and Hugh Grant, plus some other folks, but they didn’t capture my interest. A few twists and turns, but it’s an action flick, and it doesn’t disappoint.

Rating: 2 of 5 Batmans
First off, for a movie about the fastest super hero, this movie is hella slow. Seriously. Could have been half the length if they just cut the repetitive and useless scenes. Like maybe an hour? I didn’t really see this from any prior review, but this is DC’s remake of Marvel’s Dr. Strange and the Multiverse of Madness. Toss in a little “Yesterday” changing of the past, and viola, another bad DC movie.

Rating: 4 of 5 vinters
Watched on a whim when I couldn’t sleep, didn’t expect much, but I like Toni Collette, so gave it a shot. Enjoyed it a lot. It was fun, violent, and overall quite entertaining. Plot was unsurprising, but the writing and characters were all interesting. Worth a watch. Maybe only at 2am when you can’t sleep, but whatever works.

Rating: 4 of 5 severed limbs
I expected a ridiculous film. I wasn’t disappointed. It’s bloody, gory, funny, and slightly dramatic. If for no other reason, you should see it because it’s Ray Liotta’s last film. Plot is about as simple as you get. There’s cocaine, a bear finds it, the bear gets a little frisky. I laughed, I cringed, I felt empathy for the bear. I could get all judgy and complain about how if this is entertainment, our society has failed, but basically, this is just a spin on Cujo, which many people consider a classic.

Rating: 3 of 5 CGI dinos
Visually great, although wonderfully generated dinosaurs has been played out by now. Very superficial and common plot. Crash landed on a planet, protagonist struggles against impossible odds to figure out how to escape. That’s the big plot, so mostly, it’s dealing with dinos. But the endless Jurassic Park films already numbed us to that plot-line. So, it’s a chance to watch Adam Driver run around and try out new facial expressions.

Rating: 4.5 of 5 sledgehammers
This looked pretty cheesey when I first saw the poster, before the holidays. Finally showed up for free streaming, so we gave it a shot. It was hillarious. And violent. But, that’s in the title, so can’t really complain about the violence! Simple plot, Santa is visiting a house where the family is being held by armed and violent thieves. And, it has actors you’ll recognize: David Harbour, John Leguizamo, and Beverly D’Angelo lead the cast.

Rating: 2 of 5 puffers
Aliens take over earth, some people don’t like it, and I guess they fight back? Hard to tell, really. I found it confusing, with little to no character development, at it was unclear what was so different about alien rule, or just a global dictatorship. All in all, I’d pass on it, there are a lot of perfectly good aliens take over and are challenged by spunky human flicks out there.

Rating: 3 of 5 stars
Let’s start with the obvious. The big car chase is a 5 out of 5. For fans of classic 60’s cars, and nostalgic views of San Francisco, this movie has them in abundance. However, as a thriller, it’s not very thrilling. In fact, it’s very dark (were hospitals actually this badly lit after the invention of electric lighting?) and fairly slow and plodding about 75% of the time, with remarkably little dialog throughout.

Rating: 4 of 5 warriors
Well acted and beautifully filmed, including massive action sequences. with Viola Davis doing an incredible job as the primary protagonist. Very loosely based on historical events, it’s a facinating story of the woman army of an African King. And the dramatic license is used to explore interpersonal relationships, good vs evil, politics, slavery. All in all, a really well done film.

Rating: 4 of 5 Haunted Houses
As Stefan from SNL says “This movie has everything!”. It’s got a haunted house, a family working out family issues, drama, comedy, action. There are car chases, human chases, police, a secret government agency, a murder myster, Tig Notaro, and a ghost. All in all, an enjoyable flick good enough to overlook its flaws.

Rating: 3 of 5 psycho killers
This’ll be quick. It’s a B movie about a sentient car tire that goes on a killing spree. That’s it. The entire plot. All in all, kinda fun.

Rating: 4 of 5 vinters
Watched on a whim when I couldn’t sleep, didn’t expect much, but I like Toni Collette, so gave it a shot. Enjoyed it a lot. It was fun, violent, and overall quite entertaining. Plot was unsurprising, but the writing and characters were all interesting. Worth a watch. Maybe only at 2am when you can’t sleep, but whatever works.

Rating: 4 of 5 severed limbs
I expected a ridiculous film. I wasn’t disappointed. It’s bloody, gory, funny, and slightly dramatic. If for no other reason, you should see it because it’s Ray Liotta’s last film. Plot is about as simple as you get. There’s cocaine, a bear finds it, the bear gets a little frisky. I laughed, I cringed, I felt empathy for the bear. I could get all judgy and complain about how if this is entertainment, our society has failed, but basically, this is just a spin on Cujo, which many people consider a classic.

Rating: 5 of 5 neighbors
Tom Hanks plays a grumpy man who was just forced into retirement, and had recently lost his wife. Not a very uplifting setup, but the movie is realistic, poignant, funny, sad, and heartwarming. Hanks is again perfect in his role, and the supporting cast are all excellent. Highly recommended.

Rating: 4.5 of 5 sledgehammers
This looked pretty cheesey when I first saw the poster, before the holidays. Finally showed up for free streaming, so we gave it a shot. It was hillarious. And violent. But, that’s in the title, so can’t really complain about the violence! Simple plot, Santa is visiting a house where the family is being held by armed and violent thieves. And, it has actors you’ll recognize: David Harbour, John Leguizamo, and Beverly D’Angelo lead the cast.

Rating: 3 of 5 zomcoms
A zombie rom com. A pretty average comedy, riding almost entirely on Aubry Plaza’s talent for playing manic characters. Some really funny moments early on, it gets a bit tragic in the third act.

Rating: 2 of 5 lead actors
Starring a bunch of actors I like, looked like a decent black comedy, but ensemble productions are such a crapshoot. More often than not, the script doesn’t do the actors justice. Unfortunately, this follows that pattern. I liked the overall plot, and some of the performances, but not enough to keep things interesting. The story didn’t have enough material and depth to fill the screen-time. All in all, it was OK, but I wouldn’t go out of your way to watch it.

Rating: 2 of 5 Tube men
Avoided any information about this, so I wouldn’t have any secrets spoiled. Won’t give away any here. Thought it was just OK. It had some striking visuals, but motivations, or any real character development, was iffy. Story is either increadibly simplistic, or incredibly confusing, and I’m still not sure which. It had an ending, but if I understood what was going on, it was almost a “oops, we’re out of time/money, gotta wrap it up.

Rating: 4 of 5 Haunted Houses
As Stefan from SNL says “This movie has everything!”. It’s got a haunted house, a family working out family issues, drama, comedy, action. There are car chases, human chases, police, a secret government agency, a murder myster, Tig Notaro, and a ghost. All in all, an enjoyable flick good enough to overlook its flaws.

Rating: 4 of 5 Quarks
A pretty fun post-apocalyptic romp with comedians. Fun cameos, it has Barry Bostwick, Armin Shimerman, plus the evil Mayor from Buffy the Vampire Slayer in it. A pretty well written and acted comedy, no real spoilers, a couple goes through an apocalypse of unknown origin. Hilarity ensues. Obviously a shoestring budget, you don’t expect to see actors you recognize in movies this low budget. Given the length of the “special thanks” list, they might have financed with individual donations.

Rating: 3 of 5 psycho killers
This’ll be quick. It’s a B movie about a sentient car tire that goes on a killing spree. That’s it. The entire plot. All in all, kinda fun.

Rating: 5 of 5 projectile vomits
Can’t really spoil the plot. There’s a kid, they’re possessed, Russell Crowe is called in to make things better. Hillarity ensues. But, in this case, it’s really well done. It’s scary, creepy, a little bit mysterious, and pacing moves along quite well. Crowe pulls off an excellent performance as an Italian priest, the supporting cast supports, although they don’t get a lot of character definition. One of the best demonic possession films to show up in years.

Rating: 4 of 5 severed limbs
I expected a ridiculous film. I wasn’t disappointed. It’s bloody, gory, funny, and slightly dramatic. If for no other reason, you should see it because it’s Ray Liotta’s last film. Plot is about as simple as you get. There’s cocaine, a bear finds it, the bear gets a little frisky. I laughed, I cringed, I felt empathy for the bear. I could get all judgy and complain about how if this is entertainment, our society has failed, but basically, this is just a spin on Cujo, which many people consider a classic.

Rating: 3 of 5 cabins
Being an M. Night film, don’t want to say much, easy to spoil something you may not have seen coming. But I liked it. It was moody and creepy and had memorable visuals. Given the wild variability of the quality of his films, on the Shyamalan scale, it gets a 4 of 5. But on the regular scale, just a 3.

Rating: 4.5 of 5 non-Asimov robots
A rare combo of creepy, funny, and scary. All done pretty well. A few surprises, well done effects, and good acting all around. Came in not expecting a lot, since most all recent horror attempts weren’t great. This was refreshingly entertaining.

Rating: 2 of 5 Necronomicons
A big fan of the first 3, featuring Bruce Campbell, I don’t expect much from the continued sequels, even though Bruce and Sam Rami are involved as producers. Just to say, my bar is pretty low for these remakes. This started out pretty well, good visuals, a cursory nod to the original general plot. But, about halfway through, it just fizzled. More of the same, repeated, didn’t keep up with the scary bits.

Rating: 4 of 5 jump scares
Hope you like jump scares, ‘cause this is the definition of a jump scare flick. Also has a pretty good plot, and at least they had a reason for the film being dark (see the title for a hint).

Rating: 3 of 5 zomcoms
A zombie rom com. A pretty average comedy, riding almost entirely on Aubry Plaza’s talent for playing manic characters. Some really funny moments early on, it gets a bit tragic in the third act.

Rating: 2 of 5 Tube men
Avoided any information about this, so I wouldn’t have any secrets spoiled. Won’t give away any here. Thought it was just OK. It had some striking visuals, but motivations, or any real character development, was iffy. Story is either increadibly simplistic, or incredibly confusing, and I’m still not sure which. It had an ending, but if I understood what was going on, it was almost a “oops, we’re out of time/money, gotta wrap it up.

Rating: 5 of 5 jump scares
Excellent horror/thriller. Starts in a rainstorm, with an overbooked short-term rental. Slowly unravels some details, but only enough to keep you wondering what’s going on. Then, it gets creepy. Um, really creepy. As more is revealed, you realize it’s not a cookie cutter thriller. And, it was suprising (and creepy) all the way to the end.

Rating: 3 of 5 Corpses
Lots of action, doesn’t let up much. Not a very intricate plot, but Elba is a solid lead, and Serkis is a bad bad guy. Some very disturbing visuals, and a lot of corpses.

Rating: 4 of 5 Haunted Houses
As Stefan from SNL says “This movie has everything!”. It’s got a haunted house, a family working out family issues, drama, comedy, action. There are car chases, human chases, police, a secret government agency, a murder myster, Tig Notaro, and a ghost. All in all, an enjoyable flick good enough to overlook its flaws.

Rating: 4 of 5 Quarks
A pretty fun post-apocalyptic romp with comedians. Fun cameos, it has Barry Bostwick, Armin Shimerman, plus the evil Mayor from Buffy the Vampire Slayer in it. A pretty well written and acted comedy, no real spoilers, a couple goes through an apocalypse of unknown origin. Hilarity ensues. Obviously a shoestring budget, you don’t expect to see actors you recognize in movies this low budget. Given the length of the “special thanks” list, they might have financed with individual donations.

Rating: 4 of 5 pizzas
Not a movie to watch if you’re looking for a light comedy. Well written and very well acted drama about a man who had become morbidly obese, reflecting on his life. it’s poignant and moving and often hard to watch, but it’s also interesting and looks at complex interactions between complex people. It got a lot of criticism and bad press, I think because of the “fat suit”, but I’m just writing that off to some group having a vocal issues with just about anything now, and somehow getting press about it.

Rating: 5 of 5 neighbors
Tom Hanks plays a grumpy man who was just forced into retirement, and had recently lost his wife. Not a very uplifting setup, but the movie is realistic, poignant, funny, sad, and heartwarming. Hanks is again perfect in his role, and the supporting cast are all excellent. Highly recommended.

Rating: 2 of 5 straightjackets
Visualy unusual, starts off creepy and disturbing. Stays disturbing, but not all that creepy. The close-in photography wears a bit thin, and the music is definately a character in itself. The plot is pretty light. It’s more of a slice of life, following people through a couple weird days, but for people on the fringe. Not really horror or sci-fi, more offbeat drama-thriller.

Rating: 4 of 5 warriors
Well acted and beautifully filmed, including massive action sequences. with Viola Davis doing an incredible job as the primary protagonist. Very loosely based on historical events, it’s a facinating story of the woman army of an African King. And the dramatic license is used to explore interpersonal relationships, good vs evil, politics, slavery. All in all, a really well done film.

Rating: 4 of 5 overnight parking spots
A pseuo-documentary about present day Nomads, people who travel around, generally living in RV’s, or small outfitted Van RV’s, some doing seasonal work across the country as it comes up. Some by necessity, some by choice. Aside from a few actors, primarily Frances McDormand in the lead role, the cast are actual Nomads. Surprisingly little dramatic license, without traditional acts. I spent much of the film waiting for the big tragedy or dramatic event to happen, but it never arrived.

Rating: 3 of 5 CGI dinos
Visually great, although wonderfully generated dinosaurs has been played out by now. Very superficial and common plot. Crash landed on a planet, protagonist struggles against impossible odds to figure out how to escape. That’s the big plot, so mostly, it’s dealing with dinos. But the endless Jurassic Park films already numbed us to that plot-line. So, it’s a chance to watch Adam Driver run around and try out new facial expressions.

Rating: 2 of 5 straightjackets
Visualy unusual, starts off creepy and disturbing. Stays disturbing, but not all that creepy. The close-in photography wears a bit thin, and the music is definately a character in itself. The plot is pretty light. It’s more of a slice of life, following people through a couple weird days, but for people on the fringe. Not really horror or sci-fi, more offbeat drama-thriller.

Rating: 5 of 5 jump scares
Excellent horror/thriller. Starts in a rainstorm, with an overbooked short-term rental. Slowly unravels some details, but only enough to keep you wondering what’s going on. Then, it gets creepy. Um, really creepy. As more is revealed, you realize it’s not a cookie cutter thriller. And, it was suprising (and creepy) all the way to the end.